The past weeks were filled with so much discontent, weeping & sadness in my heart.
If you will know the reason why, you would say – “Really?”, “That’s it?”
And I know, I really don’t have a reason to be. I’m always in this roller coaster cycle of ups and lows when it comes to work. This is not something new. And the root of the problem is my heart. Selfishness, pride, discontent, ungratefulness. All of those ate me up.
I got stuck. I chose to stay drowning into all of those. I just wanted to keep weeping and maybe God will have mercy on me and just give me what I want. I was being a brat.
In all of those, God remained patient and merciful. The only way up is to really go back to Him – repent and obey. It was a struggle to do that but He waited.
I’m still not that okay. God is still working at my heart. It needs another surgery. But my prayer is as He does that, I will see Him. I will keep my eyes on Him. That’s all I could do.
If you are on same boat as I am, I hope that this will encourage you a bit. I thank God for being so gracious. Indeed, I can’t do it on my own.
Dear God, “Turn Yourself to me, and have mercy on me, For I am desolate and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have enlarged; Bring me out of my distresses! Look on my affliction and my pain, And forgive all my sins.” Psalms 25:16-18