[COVID 19 Diary] I wept.

It’s been heartbreaking. I can’t help but cry with what’s going on in the world.

I can’t believe how a “mere” virus can shake the whole world.

There are greater problems than this – poverty, sex slave, child abuse, non-treatable diseases, unemployment, etc. These are real problems that are temporarily forgotten because of fighting a virus.

It’s unfathomable how we all got into this place that seems to be uncontrollable, and the only way to stop the transmission is a shutdown of the world.

And it could get pretty scary thinking about this because when I go back to God’s Word – Jesus said these are just beginning of sorrows.

And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places.All these are the beginning of sorrows.     – Matthew 24:6-8

And Jesus said, “For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been since the beginning of the world until this time, no, nor ever shall be.” (Matt 24:21) There will be days worst than this. 

Just watching the news reminds me that our resources are limited, no matter how rich our country is, supplies will eventually run out. It reminds me also of how our wisdom is finite, how our strength will eventually fail.  After all, even our government leaders or even the brightest in the medical field are just human.

With all these thoughts, I always find myself asking again – “Is this all to life?”

Will a mere virus possibly end my life?

Then, I see Jesus. The gospel makes sense again. That’s why Jesus had to die because our life is not just for this lifetime.

God created me not for this temporal world. He created me for eternity. I can’t just accept that my life is – I live, I fight a virus, I die. Then what? That sucks. What’s the point of living then?

Today, I have to remind myself again that my life is beyond this. Just like you, fear & worry would sometimes creep in. That’s why I need to re-align my self again with God and His Word. There’s eternal life in the presence of God.

That’s what I would rather look forward to. I’m glad that I have Jesus in my life. That my messy, imperfect life is anchored to the only Savior of this world – Jesus Christ.

So, I can hope. I can live without fear. I can trust. I can live by faith. And yes, I can continue to weep for the world, praying that everyone will see the true Hope & Light in the midst of this darkness. Realizing that we can never rely on our own resources, that we have to start calling on the name of the LORD. Jesus is the true Healer. He did that already 2000+ years ago.

My thoughts here are what I wrote in my journal today. I just thought I should share and hopefully reminded you that we can hope.

I want to end this with one of my favorite verses in the Bible – this is the most famous that will never run old.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son (Jesus), that whoever believes in Him (Jesus) should not perish but have everlasting life.

One Hand At A Time

I had the privilege to volunteer in an outreach event by Gideon International last Sunday at the Main Street (Vancouver) Car Free Festival. I’ve always been wanting to join their outreaches but my time never permits. Thank God for asking me to slow down that these days, I have more free time. Such a blessing just to be a part of it.

With the goal of the outreach to share Jesus and evangelize, we used nail art to be able to bridge that. I, myself, have never done nail art. That was my first time. I was so surprised that people were happy with what I did. I really felt that my work were really not that good. But I was thinking, maybe God made them see it beautifully. 😀

My favorite part about that whole event was to be able to talk to women who are in the different walks of life – students, single women, wives/mommies. I always enjoy hearing stories of people. And to be able to do that while doing their nails, it was a humbling experience. I mean, who am I to do their nails when I’m not even equipped. Who am I that they would trust me with not just their nails but with their story? They don’t even know me. And really the best, best part of it was to allow me to pray for them and remind them that God loves and cares for them.

After that event, I went home with my heart so full. That was God’s. The people that He brought there, He appointed it.  Those people were meant to be there to be reminded and  be reconnected to their Maker. My prayer is that those hands I have held will have a personal encounter with God and will really know and receive Jesus. That I leave to God.

I’m just amazed how God can use “nail art” to be able to share His love. One hand at a time, there’s an opportunity for the gospel to be shared.

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There’s another outreach event coming on July 8th. If God is moving you to be part of it, let me know and I can connect you.

What I’ve learned is that when we make ourselves available for God, He will use that. No matter how lacking we are, how unequipped we are, no matter how prepared or unprepared we are, we just need to be available. Because that’s when we will see His glory, His power, His amazing work. When we decrease, He will increase Himself.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8

Until One Day

In my quiet time reading today, I was reading about a rich, young man who asked Jesus the most important question anyone can ask,

“What shall I do to inherit eternal life?” (Luke 18:18)

As I reflect on it, it made me look back of how my life was before.

Before I came to know who Jesus really is and really have a personal relationship with Him, everything written in the Bible are merely stories for me. It didn’t have any meaning in my life. I didn’t know back then what was really the end goal of having faith. For what?

Until one day, I started asking myself what is really the purpose of doing all the religious activities I did growing up.

Until one day, I realize my sinfulness.

Until one day, I became personal with God. I became curious about Him. Who He really is. Why do I need to pray to Him? I don’t even see Him.

All those “concepts” I learned about God became truth to me. And not just simply truth, they became true in my life. The Bible started having meaning in my life – all the way from Genesis to Revelation.

Eternal Life? I never knew that would be true. That’s only for characters I see on television. You know, those who never die. Superheroes. Vampires. But that’s not God’s idea of eternal life. It’s incomparable.

As I continued to seek God and what Jesus did for me, I was opened to the truth. God created eternal life. And it has always been His plan. It started at the Garden of Eden. Before men fell into sin.

You might be in the same place I was more than a decade ago. Knowing but not really understanding. Doing but not really knowing the reason for it. Going on with life, thinking as long as everything seems to be going well, life is good.

I can’t convince you just like other people wasn’t able to convince me about the truth of the Bible. The truth of Jesus. The truth of eternal life. Only God can really do the work. But because I opened my heart to Him. I allowed Him to reveal the truth to me.  I was changed. And it will always be the best decision I have made in my life.

There’s a big difference with just knowing… it should be knowing Him & experiencing Him – His love, His forgiveness, His goodness, His mercy, His grace, His holiness. That my friend is life-changing.

I pray that you will give God a chance if you haven’t. What can you really lose?

Just like that rich, young man, for sure you have a lot of questions also. Give God a chance to answer it. Start with an open mind and heart.

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Talking but not Listening

How often do you check your heart? Not going to a doctor but checking the condition of your heart.

For the past days, that’s what I’ve been doing. It’s just that I don’t know what’s really going on. I’ve been asking God so many times to tell me what’s going on because I just feel so restless inside.

And today, I got reminded of lukewarmness in our walk with God. Neither hot or cold. The relationship is there but there is no intimacy. And I realize that the condition of my heart reflects my relationship with the Lord.

For the past days, I really try to spend time with God. However, I realize that I do more of the talking and not the listening. I read the Bible to hear Him but I end up taking His time to speak to me and just keep throwing thoughts on Him. And eventually, all I hear is myself. My fears. My questions. My impatience. My noise.

Reading the Bible and hearing God through the Bible are totally different things. In spending time with God, one must acknowledge that it is a special time to meet God to be able to know Him and receive revelation from Him. It’s not just merely talking and ranting about things to Him but with a humble heart and a listening ear, we must also let God speak to us. He loves to talk to us.  It’s not just us meeting Him, but Him also meeting us.

And I realize, that is what I lack. And at times, I also struggle controlling my thoughts. As I start meditating, my mind would eventually start to wander around. I really pray I will have the self-control not to over think and just focus on what God wants me to hear.

To ponder: If we allow other people to speak to us and impart to us wisdom, giving all our attention just to hear what they say, how much more from God who is our Creator and Heavenly Father?

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
    Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting!

Psalm 139:23-24

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Just one thing…

Last night in our weekly small group meeting, we studied one of the attributes of God which is being merciful.

Upon pondering my take home last night…

Justice – you get what you deserve

Mercy – you don’t get what you deserve

Grace – you get what you don’t deserve

Just imagine if God is only just but not merciful and gracious…

How will we be able to live?

There’s no even point living because we will totally be separated from God – eternally.

Why?

Because God being just means all of us are bound for hell forever. We will never be able to live up to His standards.

But because God is merciful, He sent His Son Jesus to take the penalty of our sins.

And because God is gracious, He gives us salvation and eternal life through Jesus even if we don’t deserve it.

Do you want to live not just for now but eternally with God?

Just one thing…

Believe, have faith in Jesus. Let Jesus not just be your Savior but also the Master of your life.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

Isn’t it amazing how one decision can totally impact your eternal destination?