Through It All

I can’t believe that it is already March. For nothing much happening in my day to day, time is indeed going fast.

It’s been an interesting journey since I quit my job last December. I had hopes & prayers of how my next career would turn out to be but none of those happened. God usually honors the deadline I set, but not this time. I was hoping I could go back working by February, but as you see, it’s March already and I’m still in a place of uncertainty.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m truly grateful for this break that God is giving me. But of course, reality sets in when you have bills to pay. It makes me wonder for how long will I wait? Will my finances sustain the remaining days/weeks/months before I find another job? Then, I start asking question – was it a mistake that I quit my job without having another job waiting for me? But then, I always find myself back to the same decision I made. Truly, I am glad I made that decision.

This isn’t the first time that I have to wait on God on where He would want me to go. We’ve been on this journey for so many times already. And when I look back on how He sustained me during the season of waiting & how He provided work for me, I’m always in awe. Because it was all His doing. I always receive the unexpected. Something I can never take credit for. And I know, He will do it again.

So how has the journey been so far? It’s amazing how much God has changed me and made me grow in trusting Him. It is only by His grace. I am bored yes. Totally bored. I miss working, no denying on that. But, I have peace. I am not anxious. Even if my timeline does not match with His timeline, I know that He knows better. Being in a place of surrender, it is really because of Jesus that I can just take the back seat and let Him take the wheel.

This is a growing season in my life. It’s more than just finding a new job. It’s really walking with God and once again experiencing His transforming power in my life. There are so many things God is working in my life – humility, content, satisfaction, gratefulness, patience, etc. List just goes on.

I don’t know what’s your season today. But, I hope that I could encourage you that there is no waiting in vain in the Lord. Of course, we do our part. Just like me, I have to send in a lot of applications. But, I leave the results to God. It’s just so comforting when I know that I have a God who knows what is ahead, what’s the future. Because then, I know it will be a good one and I will not have to worry.

So, if you are in a season of waiting like me, whatever you are waiting for, I hope that you don’t grow weary, that you don’t lose hope. Enjoy this journey of God molding you as you wait. I really believe that we become better not during those smooth, easy times of our life but on those times that we got out of our comfort zone and took steps of faith.

But of course, as I said, I can never go through this season of uncertainty without Jesus in my life. He is my assurance, my source of hope. Apart from Him, my world would really go crumbling down.  I can rejoice, through it all!

But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, “The Lord is great!” But as for me, I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my d

So, if you haven’t entrusted your life to Jesus, this is the best time to do that. Best decision ever. That’s how I get to face difficulties with peace & joy. All because of Jesus.

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“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  — Jesus (John 10:10)

BREAK-UP

I’m just a bit emotional. I felt like someone broke up with me. Though, I really haven’t experienced one. Haha! But anyway, I just feel like it.

Last 2013, was my first time to resign from the first company that I worked for more than 8 years. But when I left, it was a different kind of emotion. I felt free. Here’s a throwback. 😀

Just this Friday, I said my farewell to the second company I have worked for almost 4 years. And the reason I’m writing now is because I just needed an outlet of how I feel and let it be. I really don’t like dramas but you know what, this is my blog site. I just  want to be dramatic right now. LOL.

Anyway, leaving was my personal choice. It was time to move forward and explore other industries for my own growth. I had to choose growth over comfort. However, leaving this time was not easy.

In my years at the company, I had moved from one team to another. Worked with different people on different projects. Had multiple bosses. Change was super constant. But the last seven months were different. I became part of a team wherein we could all grow together. And to become a part of something that evolves and improves, it’s not just about work. It’s really about building relationship. It was just getting better. And that’s why it was sad to leave. And probably, it’s just me. It’s something I didn’t want to lose.

I just feel like a portion of my life right now got ripped. #drama … lol… But, that’s how I feel. It’s going to take a while. I’ll definitely miss our daily stand-ups and sometimes, excessive clapping. 😀 I will miss grooming  & retro sessions where everyone just really gets “passionate”.  😀  I will miss the crunch time moments when it’s close to end of sprint and everyone just jumps in to help. Just so many things going on everyday that I will surely miss. But most of all, I will miss the team and being part of the team. I will miss working with people who turned out to be friends.

Okay enough with this drama…haha… but those are all sincere words… I’m not going too far so I know I will still see them.

Next week, I will be walking down the hall, seeing unfamiliar faces. And I might still be sad. It’s going to be weird for a while, I guess. We’ll see…

National Leave the Office Early Day!

It is FINISHED.

This weekend, I got reminded of one important thing. You see, every year, I always have a list of goals that I want to accomplish. It’s already half of the year and I only have one thing crossed out from my list. I felt like I haven’t done enough for the past six months. I was starting to be hard on myself.

Yesterday, in my quiet time, I read the story about the woman with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume who used it all  up for Jesus (Matthew 26:7-11). Of course, she got an indignant remark from some of the people who were there. They thought she just wasted it when she could have sold it for a high price. However, Jesus was pleased with her. And that’s what only matters to her.

 Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me.” (Matthew 26:10)

As I was reflecting on it, it made me ask the questions – “What is important for me?”,        “Why am I getting anxious of not being able to accomplish the things in my list of goals?”, “What does that make me if I won’t get them done?”.

I got too caught up with a checklist that I forgot the one main important thing. I forgot that no matter how long my list would get and no matter how much I have or have not accomplished from that list, neither can increase nor diminish God’s love and view of me. God does not really care what I have today and what I don’t have tomorrow.

When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “IT IS FINISHED.”  With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. (John 19:30)

I forgot that Jesus already finished the one thing I can never do for myself. To save myself from trying to accomplish a lot of things when He already promised that He will give me an abundant life as long as I have Him in my life (John 10:10). The events in my life do not define the kind of person I am. Who I am becoming is what matters to God and because that’s what only matters to Him, I only want to be defined through His Son, Jesus.

The three words – IT IS FINISHED are such comforting words knowing that what I need to do in my life is just really to please God on the kind of person I am becoming. I want to become that same woman from the story who does not live a life defined by her accomplishments  but a life that Jesus would say, “She has done a beautiful thing to me.”

I’m Princess Pepay. A Work In Progress!

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#GoogleGoals

As a Computer Engineer graduate in a third world country, my only dream before was to be able to work in a company where I can use my degree. I got blessed with an entry position and eventually grew in my career in IT. A lot of opportunities happened and one of which was to work abroad at our client site. Such experience allowed me to explore things outside my comfort zone.

Then, I ran into this movie in Netflix – “The Internship”. If I’m not an IT person, I might not be interested on this movie. Who would have thought that this movie would trigger me to dream to work at Google? Working at Google never crossed my mind until this movie. I’m in a good place right now but I’ve been learning to challenge myself to dream bigger. When I saw this movie, it somehow opened my eyes to a different, more interesting, more innovative world out there. I don’t know even know if I will ever be qualified for any position they have. But I will never know unless I prepare and try. It’s a good challenge. 🙂

Last year, I had the chance to check Googleplex in Mountain View. It’s a vibrant place out there. The colors speak for itself. 🙂

Let’s see what will happen in the next 6 months? 1 year?

Never stop dreaming!

#CEOgoals

It all starts with a dream.  My motivation to do the more important things is because of a bigger vision. However, how God will take me there is what I am more interested on. Being a result-oriented person, my perception has been slowly changed on what matters most. The journey is more important than the destination. How I will be transformed, disciplined, prepared and pruned is what I am looking forward to. The results will be results. My dream of becoming a CEO someday may or may not happen but the journey will definitely happen. I can’t wait to see how will God work in me, He who is the CEO of my life.

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