It doesn’t matter

One thing I am grateful for social media is it allows me to see the world. I see vacation posts, heartbreaking stories, inspiring stories, government updates, economic news,  parenting tips, etc. You name it.

Though, whatever I read or see triggers different thoughts and emotions in me. I would wish I can go for a vacation also. Or, I wish I could help. Or, I get disapppointed. Or, I want to encourage too. 

But when all of those thoughts and emotions pass, I would ALWAYS be reminded of God’s Word. “Set your mind on things above and not on earthly things.” I always ask the question, “Does it really matter to God?”

…if I go or not go for a vacation?

…if the whole world does not know my own little acts of kindness?

…if I live in a country with economic problems?

…if I can only inspire one or two compared to others who can inspire the world?

…if I don’t ever become a parent?

God’s answer to me, “The Lord DELIGHTS in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.”‭‭ Psalm‬ ‭147:11‬

That’s what matters to God. How I honor Him, fear Him, love Him. The condition of my heart is really what matters to God. I should never measure the worth of my life by earthly things. And I can only do this if I have Jesus in my life, His Son whom He is well pleased.

#thoughtsbeforeisleep

What’s wrong with me?

Seriously, what is wrong with me?

I felt like I’ve been trapped in fear of failure. I am truly grateful for my work but the past days, I feel like I’m slowly losing confidence on myself. I feel like I’m going to fail anytime. This is how I always feel when I’m not in my comfort zone.

I don’t know if my brain just really got slower in processing new knowledge every day or I am just really incapable of my work. I never liked this feeling of waking up each day, fearing that things might not go well at work.

And maybe the reason for this is I tend to think what other people might think of me. Instead of just focusing on what I need to do, I tend to over think of how things might turn out to be in a negative way.

I don’t like this struggle. God is enough to assure me that He will help me and sustain me. But I still give in to fear that I end up spaced out and worn out.

I know I just have to trust God each day with every detail of my work. I know He cares about what I do because He cares for me. I know there is nothing to be afraid or worry about. He will guide me every step of the way.

What’s wrong with me? The way I think is what’s wrong with me. I pray that God will continue to renew my mind that I may overcome fear through Jesus.

Hope tomorrow will be a better day!

Standing Still

It’s been more than a week since I moved to Canada.  Even before I came here, I’ve been submitting tons of job applications. I got few responses, some from companies, some from recruitment agencies. It’s been more than 5 months now that I’m unemployed and I’m kinda feeling the pressure to find a job. Not to mention, I have expenses to pay and I’m not in Manila anymore. It’s been quite tough finding the right job here for the skill set that I have. Experiences and skills required are very specific that it’s very difficult to fit in.

I have moments of discouragements and doubts. I desperately want to work immediately before this month ends and I feel like things are not going my way.  But I don’t want to let my fear or anxieties swallow me. I have a big God.

I’ve been reading the Book of Joshua since I arrived here. I just felt I could relate to Joshua’s journey. God was fulfilling His promise of giving the land to the Israelites but the journey was never easy. Joshua and the rest of his army had to defeat a lot of nations before receiving the fullness of the land. I feel I’m in the same battle. I have to defeat other applicants to be able to receive the best that God wants to give me.

But what comforted me was that the victories of the Israelites were all because of what God did. All they did was to attack but it was God who handed to them in defeat their enemies.  It was God who gave them the victory.  And I believe God will do the same for me. All I need to do is to submit the best of my resume, go to interviews – never give up. And, God will take care of the rest. Indeed, only God can give me favor through men. Only God can move the heart of the companies.

This job hunting journey is never about me or the job I’ll have but still and always about God, who He is and what He can do. He deserves the glory.

—————————o————————-

In one of my quiet times this week, I told God, “If you can make the sun stand still for a day,  then, you can  give me  the best job.” 

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The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day.  There has never been a day like it before or since, a day when the Lord listened to a human being. Surely the Lord was fighting for Israel! – Joshua 10:13-14

Precious

God’s love letter to me tonight.

Isaiah 43:1-7 But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob,he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,you will not be burned;the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord your God,the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,Cush and Seba in your stead.

Since you are precious and honored in my sight,and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,nations in exchange for your life.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.

’Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth—
everyone who is called by my name,whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.”