I don’t know how to start this blog. I just want to share how my walk with God has been since the beginning of this year. Since I became a Christian, “waiting” had been a common season in my life. Waiting for a change in career, waiting for a new direction, waiting for an answer, waiting for God’s best. Just a lot of waiting. It’s part of God’s pruning and discipline so that I become more dependent on Him and it increases my faith also.
However, just recently, God wanted me to stop waiting. Are you that kind of person who likes to plan things ahead? Who sets goals and works so hard to achieve that goal? Since I started working, I’ve mastered the skill of planning ahead being an integral part of my job. And I have brought that into my personal life. And even with God, I tried to set deadlines. On my next job… on getting married… on His answers to my prayers. Yup, that’s me. So when God asked me to stop waiting, stop planning and start learning to live one day at a time, I struggled. I realized I don’t know how to live one day at a time. I always think of what tomorrow would look like.
Right now, I’m learning on how to live in obedience to God one day at a time. I’m learning to focus on what He wants me to do for the day. It’s not like I don’t plan anymore. I just don’t set goals for my own agenda anymore. I am learning right now to surrender and make Him create the plan for His agenda.
I had so many plans since I moved here in Canada. I wanted to have my own start-up and business, I wanted to bring my parents here, I wanted to keep working as a contract (consultant) so that I can achieve the salary I wanted, I wanted to go back to school, I wanted God’s confirmation this year if He wants me to get married, I wanted to get married. All of these things I set were with good intentions – to help, to have a ministry, etc. But it was becoming tiring. I got too focused on the future that I fail to see what God has intended for me for the day. And so, I dropped everything. I have to stop waiting.
What matters now is I am learning to enjoy God’s presence each day that He allows me to live. How my future would turn out doesn’t matter anymore because I know that the ending would be with God.
Surrender is a continuous act of obedience until I finally meet the Lord someday. As the verses below say, I just want to know God more so that I can love Him more. His love is so much better than the life I live. Because apart from His love, my life is empty. Without His love, our ending will be a sad one.
You, God, are my God,
    earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuary
    and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
    my lips will glorify you.
Proverbs 63:1-3
I am so grateful that I worship a God who is not about performance but who cares more about my being and my relationship with Him through His Son, Jesus.
If you are in a waiting season, I pray that you will also learn to focus on what God has in stored for you for the day and let tomorrow worry on its own. Don’t miss out on what God has for you today.
God bless!
Princess Pepay 