It doesn’t matter

One thing I am grateful for social media is it allows me to see the world. I see vacation posts, heartbreaking stories, inspiring stories, government updates, economic news,  parenting tips, etc. You name it.

Though, whatever I read or see triggers different thoughts and emotions in me. I would wish I can go for a vacation also. Or, I wish I could help. Or, I get disapppointed. Or, I want to encourage too. 

But when all of those thoughts and emotions pass, I would ALWAYS be reminded of God’s Word. “Set your mind on things above and not on earthly things.” I always ask the question, “Does it really matter to God?”

…if I go or not go for a vacation?

…if the whole world does not know my own little acts of kindness?

…if I live in a country with economic problems?

…if I can only inspire one or two compared to others who can inspire the world?

…if I don’t ever become a parent?

God’s answer to me, “The Lord DELIGHTS in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.”‭‭ Psalm‬ ‭147:11‬

That’s what matters to God. How I honor Him, fear Him, love Him. The condition of my heart is really what matters to God. I should never measure the worth of my life by earthly things. And I can only do this if I have Jesus in my life, His Son whom He is well pleased.

#thoughtsbeforeisleep

Promise that Always Satisfies

Yesterday, you saw someone changing status to just got engaged with a photo of her big diamond ring.

Today, you attended a wedding of one of your college girlfriends.

At the wedding, one of your couple friends shared that they have a baby coming.

Then, you,  a single woman and not in a relationship starts asking, “When will my time come?”  Or, “Will it ever come?”

For the next hours, thoughts would just be filled of what if’s, who and what could be’s. Sometimes, a little longer, days.

Until, thoughts would slowly fade. Life becomes normal again.

Then, another announcement comes in. And it goes the same cycle again.

You can have a lot of different reasons of why it hasn’t come for you yet.

But truth is, there is always only one answer that can satisfy you.

God knows your heart. He knows your desire.

And being satisfied that He knows, you once again resubmit to Him that your time will come.

You once again surrender to Him, knowing that He is writing your story.

Then, you go on living your life for Him, trusting that the best is yet to come.

You hold on to that promise, believing that God is faithful to complete it.

God is writing

Late Night

I’m still awake, doesn’t want to sleep on some thoughts I have.

I usually don’t share some matters of the heart but tonight I will make an exception.

There’s this someone whom I’ve been crushing for sometime now. I know it sounds so highschool but I really seldom have one. So I just kinda like enjoy this moment. Lol

Anyway, I really don’t know much about this person except that he loves to serve God and others. And it’s interesting that he is still single.

We had very little exchange of conversations. Situation just really doesn’t allow sometimes. Most of the time, just really exchanging smiles.

I’ve been praying that at least there would be a chance for us to be friends but seems like it’s not happening. We just don’t belong in the same circle.

I thought he was interested in the beginning because he was making effort talking and making conversation. I got too conscious I could not even start one. lol

But maybe he isn’t after all. Better not assume anything.

So now, I’ll just wait until this phase will be gone…

Unless, God would make something happen 😉

Good night!

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Talking but not Listening

How often do you check your heart? Not going to a doctor but checking the condition of your heart.

For the past days, that’s what I’ve been doing. It’s just that I don’t know what’s really going on. I’ve been asking God so many times to tell me what’s going on because I just feel so restless inside.

And today, I got reminded of lukewarmness in our walk with God. Neither hot or cold. The relationship is there but there is no intimacy. And I realize that the condition of my heart reflects my relationship with the Lord.

For the past days, I really try to spend time with God. However, I realize that I do more of the talking and not the listening. I read the Bible to hear Him but I end up taking His time to speak to me and just keep throwing thoughts on Him. And eventually, all I hear is myself. My fears. My questions. My impatience. My noise.

Reading the Bible and hearing God through the Bible are totally different things. In spending time with God, one must acknowledge that it is a special time to meet God to be able to know Him and receive revelation from Him. It’s not just merely talking and ranting about things to Him but with a humble heart and a listening ear, we must also let God speak to us. He loves to talk to us.  It’s not just us meeting Him, but Him also meeting us.

And I realize, that is what I lack. And at times, I also struggle controlling my thoughts. As I start meditating, my mind would eventually start to wander around. I really pray I will have the self-control not to over think and just focus on what God wants me to hear.

To ponder: If we allow other people to speak to us and impart to us wisdom, giving all our attention just to hear what they say, how much more from God who is our Creator and Heavenly Father?

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
    Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting!

Psalm 139:23-24

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Control

Today, God reminded me that in wherever place we may be, there will always be a crooked and perversed generation. That’s why He commanded us, His children to be a light of the world.

I’ve been struggling with people recently that I stored in my heart a lot of negative emotions. I realized that there will always be people that could test pur character. The sad part is we can never have the power to change them. What we can only control is how we respond to them – our heart.

I pray that from this day onwards, I will press on to be a light and not to put God in shame.

Fear of the Lord is indeed the beginning of knowledge and wisdom.

Philippians 2:14-15 said to stop grumbling but instead prove that we His children are blameless that we may be a light to this crooked generation. To be like Jesus is what God has wanted us to be.

Unsorted

I’m sleepy already but I’m still unable to sleep. I have so many things in my mind and in my heart that I just want to sort them out before I fall to sleep.

The past week has been filled with a lot of lessons learned, reminders, reflections, deep thoughts, controlled emotions, stories and action items.

I wish there is a system that would automatically organize each and put them into specific folders to be processed by my mental faculty.

Now, I really want to sleep. All of these in my mind, I just want to entrust to God. Not for Him to sort it out for me, but for me to be able to sort out things and make it aligned to His will.

Indeed, apart from Jesus, my life will forever be unsorted.

Tonight, I’m letting tomorrow worry for itself. Me? I will sleep in peace.

Good night! 🙂

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