[COVID 19 Diary] I wept.

It’s been heartbreaking. I can’t help but cry with what’s going on in the world.

I can’t believe how a “mere” virus can shake the whole world.

There are greater problems than this – poverty, sex slave, child abuse, non-treatable diseases, unemployment, etc. These are real problems that are temporarily forgotten because of fighting a virus.

It’s unfathomable how we all got into this place that seems to be uncontrollable, and the only way to stop the transmission is a shutdown of the world.

And it could get pretty scary thinking about this because when I go back to God’s Word – Jesus said these are just beginning of sorrows.

And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places.All these are the beginning of sorrows.     – Matthew 24:6-8

And Jesus said, “For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been since the beginning of the world until this time, no, nor ever shall be.” (Matt 24:21) There will be days worst than this. 

Just watching the news reminds me that our resources are limited, no matter how rich our country is, supplies will eventually run out. It reminds me also of how our wisdom is finite, how our strength will eventually fail.  After all, even our government leaders or even the brightest in the medical field are just human.

With all these thoughts, I always find myself asking again – “Is this all to life?”

Will a mere virus possibly end my life?

Then, I see Jesus. The gospel makes sense again. That’s why Jesus had to die because our life is not just for this lifetime.

God created me not for this temporal world. He created me for eternity. I can’t just accept that my life is – I live, I fight a virus, I die. Then what? That sucks. What’s the point of living then?

Today, I have to remind myself again that my life is beyond this. Just like you, fear & worry would sometimes creep in. That’s why I need to re-align my self again with God and His Word. There’s eternal life in the presence of God.

That’s what I would rather look forward to. I’m glad that I have Jesus in my life. That my messy, imperfect life is anchored to the only Savior of this world – Jesus Christ.

So, I can hope. I can live without fear. I can trust. I can live by faith. And yes, I can continue to weep for the world, praying that everyone will see the true Hope & Light in the midst of this darkness. Realizing that we can never rely on our own resources, that we have to start calling on the name of the LORD. Jesus is the true Healer. He did that already 2000+ years ago.

My thoughts here are what I wrote in my journal today. I just thought I should share and hopefully reminded you that we can hope.

I want to end this with one of my favorite verses in the Bible – this is the most famous that will never run old.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son (Jesus), that whoever believes in Him (Jesus) should not perish but have everlasting life.

Power Outage

It’s 8:39 PM of August 29th. My apartment is in complete darkness. Having no electricity, the only things I can do are to eat and sleep. Reading is not an option anymore. And just waking up from an afternoon nap, I just don’t want to sleep again yet. With a little power left in my laptop’s battery, thus the writing.

Sitting at my desk right now, seeing the lights of the high rise buildings beside my apartment turned on, I feel nothing but envy. I am in total darkness…literally.

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See, this is not my first time to experience power outage. In the Philippines, we always have this. This is not even my first time to witness damages due to storm. I am so used to this back home. However, this is my first to experience it here. And it made me realize that even in  a first world country, there are times that restoration would really take longer than you expect. I thought that if there is power outage, in just few hours, electricity will be restored immediately. Well, I’m dead wrong. The wind storm hit pretty hard that some people here might even find it overwhelming. I’m just hoping that tomorrow will be much a better day. The transition of our weather is just so extreme, from drought to a storm.

However, with all of these happening, I’m still grateful. This outage makes me appreciate the comforts that I have been enjoying – especially the hot shower and oven toaster. 🙂 It also allowed me to rest from online activities. After months of buying my doodle & design book, I was once again able to do some coloring stuff (not that I’m an artist or something – just doing something creative).  

 And I am able to write, like right now which I haven’t done in so many months. And I was able to spend time with God. And I was able to have a complete rest after a full packed summer. Honestly, this is my first Saturday since summer started that I totally rested. And it is really good.
And this darkness reminds me that I may be in a dark place right now, but my life is not. I am connected to a High Power that will never have an outage. As long as I am connected to the Source, I will never have a life outage. There will always be light that will shine in and through my life. These are temporary catastrophes and maybe tomorrow or in the next two days, all will be back to normal. However, there is a permanent darkness that we can never escape once we are there already. And that is the judgment of God when the time comes. The only solution not to be in that permanent darkness is to be connected to Jesus Christ who is the only Source of Light. It is only through Him that we will forever stay in the Light.

Just imagine yourself being in complete darkness right now, then, think that to be eternal, then add to that endless weeping, endless burning, endless thirst. If we complain with little drought or hot weather, just imagine that eternal life apart from God. It’s an endless pain.

Don’t stay in the dark. God gives us the freedom to stay in the Light. Make that decision today.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

Control

Today, God reminded me that in wherever place we may be, there will always be a crooked and perversed generation. That’s why He commanded us, His children to be a light of the world.

I’ve been struggling with people recently that I stored in my heart a lot of negative emotions. I realized that there will always be people that could test pur character. The sad part is we can never have the power to change them. What we can only control is how we respond to them – our heart.

I pray that from this day onwards, I will press on to be a light and not to put God in shame.

Fear of the Lord is indeed the beginning of knowledge and wisdom.

Philippians 2:14-15 said to stop grumbling but instead prove that we His children are blameless that we may be a light to this crooked generation. To be like Jesus is what God has wanted us to be.