Utterly Grateful

Throughout this birthday week, God has reminded me of how blessed I am with relationship. In all honesty, I am never used with people who are not my family in going out of their way just to show me how much I mean to them. I am humbled and grateful. Learning from the past, I’ve learned to lower my expectation on people to avoid being hurt and disappointed. I have to learn and re-learn how to give without expecting anything.

Probably that’s the reason why I always feel overwhelmed on any gesture (nothing is little or big for me) of goodness and kindness from people. It’s a blessing you can’t contain.

“It’s the thought that counts.” That is so true for me. I may not be able to express it properly, but I truly appreciate the time, the prayer, the thought, the present, the encouragement,  the greetings, the conversation, and even just checking on me if I’m doing okay. Every time someone blesses me, I always think of ways on how I can pay it back. I just feel like I don’t deserve such blessing. Then, God would just remind me that I have to learn as well to accept and receive with humility. That I should also allow people to bless me as it is a privilege for them as well. Same that to bless others is also a privilege for me.

Thinking about all of these, I am also reminded of how GOD as a GIVER is. Everything He provides, He does not expect anything. Indeed, we can never out-give God. We think that we are giving back so much to Him – our time, our resources, our wealth. But the truth is, the amount of blessing He gives to us is immeasurable. All we need to do is to open our two hands and receive His blessing.

And do you know what is the greatest gift that He can give us? His Son Jesus. I owe my life to Jesus. He is the ONLY ONE who can never disappoint me. He is the ONLY ONE who can live up to my expectations. Jesus is the ONLY ONE who saved me from all the pits that I have fallen into without expecting anything in return. He is the source of my joy, my peace and my strength. He is a GIFT none can compare.

“For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.” Luke 19:10

If you want to know more about Jesus, feel free to message me 🙂

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A recap of my 32nd birthday

THANK YOU EVERYONE for all your kindness and goodness! You know who you are 🙂 I can’t believe my mom prepared so much food on my birthday even if I am away from them!! Family Love is the best! ❤ ❤ ❤ And yes, I got a hair cut and for the first time have highlights on my hair! *winkwink*

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For the love of Fatburger…

I just have to write about this before I sleep tonight or else this will just be another item in my blog list.

It’s been a while since I had the biggest laugh in my life. The kind of laugh that gives you stomachache and headache after. If you know what I mean. 🙂

This was a non-typical night for our discipleship group. We usually do our fellowship at Marj’s place in Surrey. However, there was a reason for a “burger” celebration that we had a long week of discussion of where to eat burger. Options were: Fatburger Lougheed, Fatburger Whiterock, Fatburger Langley. Yes, anywhere as long as it’s Fatburger. 😀

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Tonight was more of an accountability night, just sharing and listening to each other’s life stories. No filter, raw and honest. It’s such a blessing that some of us singles get to learn from the married women in the group.

The most important thing I have learned tonight is about being “intentional”. For all of us to meet and really commit to go to Fatburger no matter where that is, that is being intentional. It’s never about the burger. 🙂 It’s being intentional in our relationships – to our families, to our friends, to our church, to our small group. If we want our relationships to improve, we need to make an effort for it. We have to be intentional if we expect change and results.I know this is not something new, however, it’s just good to be reminded about it. And humbling. 

Tonight, I thank God for these amazing women whom I get to share stories, eat burger and laugh out loud (literally) with.

And thank you to Fatburger Lougheed for being so nice of not kicking us out even if we stayed a little bit past their closing time (we didn’t know, sorry…)

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Accountability over Fatburger

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22

Job Well Done – Not Mine.

The past months at work had been truly a tough one. But good tough, I must say. I felt like this year passed by so fast with so many things that had happened for the past 11 months. And in every project, there is always an ending. Finally!

I must say it was tough, but I felt like I’ve grown so much for those months. I remember, before that project happened, I had doubts about myself and my ability to perform my role. Not to mention, being in a totally different culture.  Yes, I struggled (I wrote a blog about it).

For me, each day was like going to a battle. And what kept me going is the assurance that God will not let me do something I am not capable of. That whatever is given to me, He will enable me. The past months had made me more dependent on God. It had made me more prayerful not just for myself but even for the people I work with.

A lot of prayers. An increasing faith.

As the project is closing, feedbacks were just amazing. I’m just overwhelmed with God’s favor in my workplace. As I look back on the days I was struggling and to now, I’m just in awe on how God has enabled and sustained me. I can never take credit for anything because I know that apart from God, I can only do much, but I can never be at my best. I had my own lapses with my work and with my character as well, but God made me come through.

It’s all because of Him. For all the good jobs and appreciation I received, all credit goes to God and God alone. God did a good job in me!

Promise that Always Satisfies

Yesterday, you saw someone changing status to just got engaged with a photo of her big diamond ring.

Today, you attended a wedding of one of your college girlfriends.

At the wedding, one of your couple friends shared that they have a baby coming.

Then, you,  a single woman and not in a relationship starts asking, “When will my time come?”  Or, “Will it ever come?”

For the next hours, thoughts would just be filled of what if’s, who and what could be’s. Sometimes, a little longer, days.

Until, thoughts would slowly fade. Life becomes normal again.

Then, another announcement comes in. And it goes the same cycle again.

You can have a lot of different reasons of why it hasn’t come for you yet.

But truth is, there is always only one answer that can satisfy you.

God knows your heart. He knows your desire.

And being satisfied that He knows, you once again resubmit to Him that your time will come.

You once again surrender to Him, knowing that He is writing your story.

Then, you go on living your life for Him, trusting that the best is yet to come.

You hold on to that promise, believing that God is faithful to complete it.

God is writing

I MISS YOU

I’m just thankful to the person who created the Timehop application. It’s an application that will feed your Facebook photos and statuses from 5 years ago until last year. I just like it so much because it reminds me of good memories from home.

And yes, I’m really missing home. I miss my family. I miss my friends and Manila discipleship group. I miss my friends from my previous company. I miss my favorite hang out places – Kapitolyo, Korean convenience store at Ortigas, Megamall, Powerplant Mall, California Garden Square.

Since I got back from my last assignment in 2012, April 2012 to May 2014 I believe are the most unforgettable years of my stay in Manila. These are my pruning years and never thought my last years in Manila. But as I look back, I am just glad that I really made the most in spending and investing time with people. I can not go back anymore. But I can always look back not having what ifs.

And that’s the reason why I miss home so much. I left at a time when there was so much growing, so much relationship building, so much learning.

I’m excited of how much people have changed when I go home next year for vacation. It’s a sad reality that people move on with their lives without me being part of it. However, I know that when I go home, I still have that spot in their lives just as they have in mine. That’s what’s comforting.

Our life here on earth is only meaningful when we invest our life not on things that moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. We truly never know where the next years would take us, but surely, when we invest our life on people, regardless of where we are, that’s what make living more purposeful.

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with my family – this was 11 months ago, we stopped by an overlooking site at Negros Oriental

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“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.” Matthew 6:19

Talking but not Listening

How often do you check your heart? Not going to a doctor but checking the condition of your heart.

For the past days, that’s what I’ve been doing. It’s just that I don’t know what’s really going on. I’ve been asking God so many times to tell me what’s going on because I just feel so restless inside.

And today, I got reminded of lukewarmness in our walk with God. Neither hot or cold. The relationship is there but there is no intimacy. And I realize that the condition of my heart reflects my relationship with the Lord.

For the past days, I really try to spend time with God. However, I realize that I do more of the talking and not the listening. I read the Bible to hear Him but I end up taking His time to speak to me and just keep throwing thoughts on Him. And eventually, all I hear is myself. My fears. My questions. My impatience. My noise.

Reading the Bible and hearing God through the Bible are totally different things. In spending time with God, one must acknowledge that it is a special time to meet God to be able to know Him and receive revelation from Him. It’s not just merely talking and ranting about things to Him but with a humble heart and a listening ear, we must also let God speak to us. He loves to talk to us.  It’s not just us meeting Him, but Him also meeting us.

And I realize, that is what I lack. And at times, I also struggle controlling my thoughts. As I start meditating, my mind would eventually start to wander around. I really pray I will have the self-control not to over think and just focus on what God wants me to hear.

To ponder: If we allow other people to speak to us and impart to us wisdom, giving all our attention just to hear what they say, how much more from God who is our Creator and Heavenly Father?

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
    Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting!

Psalm 139:23-24

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Pressured to DATE?

When you are surrounded with people who are married or dating, it can’t be helped that they will have that tendency to match you to other single people they know. Since I moved here in Vancouver, I felt like I could not find my own circle. Back home, I have so many single women friends who are of the same age as mine. It somehow felt good knowing that I was not alone in the journey of being single and in waiting. Here, I feel like I’m the only single woman left in the world! Crazy, right?

Not that I get offended and pressured by people, it’s just that sometimes, how people act makes me feel like being single is a disease that needs to be cured. When in fact, being able to maximize the single life is one of the best blessings an individual should be grateful for. Those who married young, those who wasted their single years or those who could not wait and kept dating to think that eventually the right one will come – they will never be able to tell how blessed and amazing it is to live an abundant life of being single.

I’m writing this to encourage all women who are in the journey of waiting and trusting that one day God will bring you to the man that He has prepared for you. There are times that I ask God if I should lower my standard, or if my standard is too high. However, God’s answer is always –  trust in ME, just trust in ME. Just as how God answers my specific prayers for other things in my life, how can He not answer my specific prayers for that person that I’ve been praying for to be my lifetime partner? After all, this is not really about me getting married or about that person whoever he may be, but even this aspect of my life has always been about the Greatest Author of my life, the Heavenly Father. And I hope that person also has the same thing in mind.

Just one of these days, when I was praying to God about this, He reminded me of what I just need to do. God spoke to me through Psalm 37:4 – “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” 

I tried to define “delight” in the manner on how God wants me to delight in Him, here’s how I defined it:

  • embrace God’s presence
  • intimacy with God
  • hunger for God
  • seeking God in every moment
  • love God above anyone or anything
  • obey God
  • follow Jesus
  • be Christ-like

God reminded me that as long as I just keep myself soaked in His presence, He’s gotten my back on everything in my life including that person He has prepared for me. With that, I just told God, “Glorify Yourself through my love life.”

And you know what’s amazing about God as He let me wait on Him, He allowed me to experience a life that I never imagined I would have. That’s how great and amazing God is. He is not cheap, He gives what is best for you and me.

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So if you are waiting for your God’s best, don’t lost hope.

God is at work and His timing is always perfect.