I MISS YOU

I’m just thankful to the person who created the Timehop application. It’s an application that will feed your Facebook photos and statuses from 5 years ago until last year. I just like it so much because it reminds me of good memories from home.

And yes, I’m really missing home. I miss my family. I miss my friends and Manila discipleship group. I miss my friends from my previous company. I miss my favorite hang out places – Kapitolyo, Korean convenience store at Ortigas, Megamall, Powerplant Mall, California Garden Square.

Since I got back from my last assignment in 2012, April 2012 to May 2014 I believe are the most unforgettable years of my stay in Manila. These are my pruning years and never thought my last years in Manila. But as I look back, I am just glad that I really made the most in spending and investing time with people. I can not go back anymore. But I can always look back not having what ifs.

And that’s the reason why I miss home so much. I left at a time when there was so much growing, so much relationship building, so much learning.

I’m excited of how much people have changed when I go home next year for vacation. It’s a sad reality that people move on with their lives without me being part of it. However, I know that when I go home, I still have that spot in their lives just as they have in mine. That’s what’s comforting.

Our life here on earth is only meaningful when we invest our life not on things that moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. We truly never know where the next years would take us, but surely, when we invest our life on people, regardless of where we are, that’s what make living more purposeful.

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with my family – this was 11 months ago, we stopped by an overlooking site at Negros Oriental

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“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.” Matthew 6:19

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Talking but not Listening

How often do you check your heart? Not going to a doctor but checking the condition of your heart.

For the past days, that’s what I’ve been doing. It’s just that I don’t know what’s really going on. I’ve been asking God so many times to tell me what’s going on because I just feel so restless inside.

And today, I got reminded of lukewarmness in our walk with God. Neither hot or cold. The relationship is there but there is no intimacy. And I realize that the condition of my heart reflects my relationship with the Lord.

For the past days, I really try to spend time with God. However, I realize that I do more of the talking and not the listening. I read the Bible to hear Him but I end up taking His time to speak to me and just keep throwing thoughts on Him. And eventually, all I hear is myself. My fears. My questions. My impatience. My noise.

Reading the Bible and hearing God through the Bible are totally different things. In spending time with God, one must acknowledge that it is a special time to meet God to be able to know Him and receive revelation from Him. It’s not just merely talking and ranting about things to Him but with a humble heart and a listening ear, we must also let God speak to us. He loves to talk to us.  It’s not just us meeting Him, but Him also meeting us.

And I realize, that is what I lack. And at times, I also struggle controlling my thoughts. As I start meditating, my mind would eventually start to wander around. I really pray I will have the self-control not to over think and just focus on what God wants me to hear.

To ponder: If we allow other people to speak to us and impart to us wisdom, giving all our attention just to hear what they say, how much more from God who is our Creator and Heavenly Father?

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
    Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting!

Psalm 139:23-24

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Pressured to DATE?

When you are surrounded with people who are married or dating, it can’t be helped that they will have that tendency to match you to other single people they know. Since I moved here in Vancouver, I felt like I could not find my own circle. Back home, I have so many single women friends who are of the same age as mine. It somehow felt good knowing that I was not alone in the journey of being single and in waiting. Here, I feel like I’m the only single woman left in the world! Crazy, right?

Not that I get offended and pressured by people, it’s just that sometimes, how people act makes me feel like being single is a disease that needs to be cured. When in fact, being able to maximize the single life is one of the best blessings an individual should be grateful for. Those who married young, those who wasted their single years or those who could not wait and kept dating to think that eventually the right one will come – they will never be able to tell how blessed and amazing it is to live an abundant life of being single.

I’m writing this to encourage all women who are in the journey of waiting and trusting that one day God will bring you to the man that He has prepared for you. There are times that I ask God if I should lower my standard, or if my standard is too high. However, God’s answer is always –  trust in ME, just trust in ME. Just as how God answers my specific prayers for other things in my life, how can He not answer my specific prayers for that person that I’ve been praying for to be my lifetime partner? After all, this is not really about me getting married or about that person whoever he may be, but even this aspect of my life has always been about the Greatest Author of my life, the Heavenly Father. And I hope that person also has the same thing in mind.

Just one of these days, when I was praying to God about this, He reminded me of what I just need to do. God spoke to me through Psalm 37:4 – “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” 

I tried to define “delight” in the manner on how God wants me to delight in Him, here’s how I defined it:

  • embrace God’s presence
  • intimacy with God
  • hunger for God
  • seeking God in every moment
  • love God above anyone or anything
  • obey God
  • follow Jesus
  • be Christ-like

God reminded me that as long as I just keep myself soaked in His presence, He’s gotten my back on everything in my life including that person He has prepared for me. With that, I just told God, “Glorify Yourself through my love life.”

And you know what’s amazing about God as He let me wait on Him, He allowed me to experience a life that I never imagined I would have. That’s how great and amazing God is. He is not cheap, He gives what is best for you and me.

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So if you are waiting for your God’s best, don’t lost hope.

God is at work and His timing is always perfect.

 

Making the Most

So many amazing things happened for the past two weeks.  Hopefully, I could really sit down and write about it.

For now, I just want to share the awesome vacation I had with my best friend and her family in Alberta. Before I went back to working again, I decided to spend my last week at my friend’s. I will never be able to spend a long week with them so I have to make the most when I can. I took the long bus trips going to and from Calgary via Greyhound. It wasn’t that bad considering that I was really able to save a lot in my fare.

It was my first time visiting their new home in Cochrane and I must say I really liked the town. I also got the chance to see Canmore which is very beautiful. You can clearly see the Rocky Mountain from there. They have this cute little town as well.

 

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But the most favorite part of my vacation was to be able to spend time with my friend and her family. Her two kids are my godchildren. It was an awesome week with them – playing, doing story telling, strolling, etc. Amazing time!

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I just can’t wait to see them again as they come over to Vancouver by end of this month. Just grateful to see an old friend in this side of the world. 🙂